AHHHHH!!!! We’re Married!
One month ago exactly, I woke up in San Luis Obispo ready to marry the guy I had been waiting for (and didn’t even know it) my entire life. A few days earlier, I spent time with my reiki master Kelsey just before leaving for our wedding week, and she had me do an exercise. She asked me to write down in detail how I would feel on my wedding day. You see, I was anxious leading up to us leaving that Monday because, well, so much had gone awry (that’s another blog post — but don’t worry, it’s coming and it’ll be a doozy!) during the wedding planning. Everything from the location to the dress and little details in between with vendors and so on. It was something out of a movie, so naturally, I was unsure of how I was going to feel that day.
During the exercise, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. She told me to sit with it for awhile and come back and write it out, with vivid description. For example: “I will feel and accept all the love and support of our families today without hesitation”.
As I’ve learned over the years, mindset is a very powerful thing. And this proved so true during our wedding week. I had finished my assignment and knew that “I will feel supremely special” and “I will soak in every moment of our wedding day as we express our love for each other”. And boy, after sitting in the car on that Monday morning about to drive up the coast for a full week ahead, I had flipped the switch. My mindset went from being anxious to being PRESENT!
I limited my social media and phone use for the entire week (which came surprisingly easier than I thought), and spent the time soaking in the gorgeous drive, the spectacular estate that we were so lucky to find on such short notice, the love of our families who traveled the country to be with us, and the overhwelming feeling of fullness throughout the week.
I allowed myself to be fully focused on Kyle and me, and whatever emotion, thought, or whim that floated into my consciousness. After a perfectly (and windy) intimate wedding day, we were so lucky to spend the next few days with extended family and friends in Santa Barbara. It was exhaustingly everything I had hoped it would be. And while it was not the original “dream wedding” I had planned for months, it truly was the wedding of my dreams.
I woke up the next Monday, back in my own bed, and burst into tears. I had the post-wedding blues. And for good reason. I had not expected everything to go so smoothly and I surely didn’t trust that I would be able to let go of control and just be. I was overwhelmed with emotion and how good I felt, not only on our wedding day but the entire week. All this, DESPITE the hiccups leading up to it.
So here we sit, one month later… still riding the high of our wedding bliss. Not because we have photos that take us back (we are so excited for those to arrive) or stories that others have shared with us, but because we were truly able to be present and live that week with profound purpose and memories that will forever be engrained on our hearts.
One down, hundreds to go… I love you Kyle.